Sexto

As you wander through the battlefield, you find yourself caught between two skirmishing factions. Six Dyspepsians and five Cloacians hack and slash at each other, but neither side can gain any ground. One of the Dyspepsians notices you and hails you.

"Hey there, you! Are you loyal to that nectar of the gods, the drink of all the successful and beautiful, Dyspepsi-Cola?"

"Pay him no mind," says a soldier in full Cloaca-Cola regalia. "Do you drink the drink of the new, successful, well-to-do lord and lady, Cloaca-Cola?"

"Um..." you say. "Mostly, I just drink water."

"WATER!?" they both shout, and all eleven soldiers charge you. You wait until they leap at you, then slink away while they're bashing away at where you used to be standing.

You gain 7 Cheek.