You're fighting a Dyspepsi-Cola General

This guy is the strangest general you've ever seen. He dances back and forth upon the battle field, making inspirational speeches in a high-pitched voice. For some reason, he keeps grabbing his crotch every time his army cheers. One thing's for sure -- you don't want to shake hands with this guy.

You get the jump on him.

You hit for 24 damage. POW! BIFF! KAPOW! BAM! BARF!

He smacks you with his gauntleted hand. Hey, why is he only wearing one gauntlet, anyway? Ow! Ouch! Ow! Ouch!

You lose 13 hit points.

You hit for 25 damage. BAM! BARF! WHACK! SMACK! SPLAT!You win the fight!

Flakolas feasts on the corpse, then touches you gently on the cheek.

You gain 25 hit points.

You gain 14 Muscularity Points.

You gain 6 Beefiness.
You gain 2 Sarcasm.