El Dia de los Muertos Borrachos

Bien, hoy amaneció inspirado Jick y creó el Día de los Muertos Borrachos, donde te roban tus bebidas o les podés robar las suyas.

November 27
Today is El Dia de Los Muertos Borrachos! Watch out!

Aquí una crónica de mis aventuras:

You're fighting El Novio Cadáver

This is the legendary Novio Cadáver (literally the "Corpse Groom"). Legend has it that he was so nervous on the day of his wedding that he had a few drinks to calm his nerves before driving to the ceremony. Tragically, he overestimated his ability to drive drunk, and never made it to his own wedding. His Bitchin' Meatcar was found wrapped around a tree, and his body was found lying to the left, and the right, and ten feet ahead of the tree.

I know that's a pretty depressing story, but hey -- you don't become a wailing spirit by quietly dying in your sleep, you know.

You stab wildly with your Dr. Hobo's scalpel. Your form is sloppy, but fortunately stabbing isn't really an exact science. You manage to deal 14 (+3) damage. BONK! BAM! KERBLAM! WHAMMO!

Necropilote squawks loudly and runs in a circle around your opponent. He looks a little bit confused.

He pulls a pair of thong underwear from his tuxedo pocket and stares blankly at it - it must be a relic from his pre-mortem bachelor party.

You indulge in a little hack 'n' slash with your Dr. Hobo's scalpel. The hacking doesn't seem to be very effective (and you really should see a doctor about that), but the slashing does 21 (+3) damage. SOCKO! BAM! ZAP! ZOT! POW!

You win the fight!

You acquire an item: corpsedriver

You gain 4 Strengthliness.
You gain 4 Enchantedness.
You gain 8 Smarm.

You're fighting La Novia Cadáver

This is the legendary Novia Cadáver (literally, the "Corpse Bride"). Legend has it that her no-good boyfriend failed to show up on their wedding day, so she killed herself in a paroxysm of grief.

Actually, she downed seven or eight martinis, stripped off her wedding dress, and went for a drunken skinnydip in the whitewater rapids of Whitey's Grove. Still, it was a tragic end to a white wedding (though it was a nice day for it, all things considered).

You get the jump on her.

You use your Dr. Hobo's scalpel to cut like a knife. But it feels so right. To you, that is, not to your enemy, who takes 23 (+3) damage. WHAM! BOOF! SMACK! ZOT! WHAMMO!

Your acid-squirting flower squirts your opponent for 4 damage.

She leans in for a headbutt, and some kind of mustachioed worm crawls out of her right eye socket and bites you on the nose. It's pretty disturbing, and pretty painful.

Ugh! Ouch! Ow! Ouch!

You lose 12 hit points.

You slash with your scalpel, and she chooses to step forward rather than dodge. She chose... poorly, and takes 34 (+3) damage. CRITICAL HIT! WHAM! BARF! KERBLAM! BIFF! WHAM! BIFF!

Necropilote coos softly, and nuzzles you with his beak.

You gain 29 hit points.

You gain 29 Mojo Points.

You win the fight!

You acquire an item: corpse on the beach

You gain 5 Muscleboundness.
You gain 4 Enchantedness.
You gain 7 Roguishness.

You're fighting La Persona Inocente Cadáver

This is the legendary spirit known as La Persona Inocente Cadáver (Literally, the "Corpse Innocent Bystander"). The legend has it that on the day he died, he was enjoying a peaceful day kayaking down the river in Whitey's Grove, knocking back beers and taking in the scenery. Suddenly, out of nowhere a naked woman jumped into the river, capsizing his boat. He was unable to make it to the shore (probably because he was swimming with a six-pack of beer under one arm) and drowned.

I guess the moral of a legend like that is to make the most of every day, because you never know when a naked woman's going to turn your life upside down. Or, um, something like that.

You get the jump on him.

You decide to attack him later.

Pepe Le Peu reaches into a higher plane and pulls out a snake! A snake! It's a snake! He throws the snake at your opponent, and the snake bites for 23 damage.

He tries to fly through you, but you duck and cover.

You hit him for 54 (+15) damage. CRITICAL HIT! BONK! WHAMMO! BIFF! SMACK! KAPOW! WHAMMO! BAM! BAM!

Pepe Le Peu reaches into a higher plane and pulls out a snake! A snake! It's a snake! He throws the snake at your opponent, and the snake bites for 33 damage.

He chucks a can of beer at you, but you dodge.

You swing the vampire duck-on-a-string at him. Its dark wings flap in the night, inspiring 36 (+14) points' worth of terror in your opponent BIFF! BONK! SPLAT! WHAM! POW! SPLAT!

Pepe Le Peu reaches into a higher plane and pulls out a snake! A snake! It's a snake! He throws the snake at your opponent, and the snake bites for 33 damage.

You win the fight!

You acquire an item: Corpse Island iced tea

You gain 27 Fortitude.
You gain 10 Mysteriousness.
You gain 16 Roguishness.