lunes, octubre 31, 2005

Halloween con el Dyspepsi-Cola y Cloaca-Cola Uniform


McDonald, the 105-year-old Cloaca-Cola Veteran

Dyspepsi is on the march again! Dammit, Martha, fetch me my bow! You just clear out of here, you whippersnapper, or I'll fill you so full of arrows they'll use your body as a coat rack! You won the war, dammit, why do you keep comin' around my house? Get offa my lawn! Take this! Consarn it, I forgot to pull the pin. Martha, where's my bow? And when's jello?

You acquire an item: Cloaca grenade


Jackson, the 106-year-old Dyspepsi-Cola Veteran

Well, now! Back for more, eh? Well, sonny, I beat you eighty-five years ago and I'll beat you again. Just you wait while I fetch my sword. Did you know, in the war, we couldn't even get toffee? Yup, toffee was rationed. There were days when I would have gladly killed a man for a piece of toffee. Couldn't get no limes, either. Dyspepsi's Navy needed 'em. Wards off scurvy, y'know. I remember the posters they used to have: "If You're Eating Toffee, You're Aiding Cloaca-Cola!", "The Road to Hell is Paved with Limes and Toffee!"

Wait, what was I talking about, whippersnapper? Oh, yeah. I was about to kill you, wasn't I? Take this! Dangit, I forgot to pull the pin. Anyway, back in my days in the Dyspepsi-Cola Infantry, we... zzzzzz...

You acquire an item: Dyspepsi grenade

sábado, octubre 29, 2005

Halloween at Aflubadubdub (II)


You look around to make sure nobody's watching you, and tear open the package.

From: Aflubadubdub.

No one answers, so you rip the door open. Funny enough, this is one of those crazy front doors that opens outwards! No sooner do you pull the handle, an avalanche of Dyspepsi Cola cans buries you on the front porch. A rather upset looking cow plods up to you.

"Ah yes. I was testing a little... urban legend shall we say. Due to the enchanced nature of my gastrointestinal system, it took a bit more work to test than it would for one of you puny adventurers. Would you like to try it for yourself? I'd offer you some Cola to complete phase two, but... well. Yes."

The cow hooves some candy into your bag, and turns to plod off. You notice four little holes blasted into the cows underside, and wonder if the whole Cola thing is really such a good idea...

You acquire an item: Rock Pops

Si no me equivoco, aca hacen referencia a los Cazadores de Mitos (Myth Busters) del Discovery Channel en su episodio Piloto #1:

The Pop Rocks and soda legend concerns a boy known as little Mikey, who was featured in commercials for Life cereal. Some years later, Mikey was challenged by his friends to eat six packs of Pop Rocks candy with six cans of soda. According to the myth, the carbon dioxide in the candy combined with the carbon dioxide in the soda to create so much pressure that Mikey's stomach exploded and he died. Our MythBusters risk their lives for you, the viewer, in these two death-defying experiments.

Halloween donde Aflubdubdub

Manden un mensaje a Aflubdubdub con el texto "Trick or Meat!" para recibir su regalito.


You look around to make sure nobody's watching you, and tear open the package.

From: Aflubadubdub.

You hear someone muttering something about interruptions, and the door flies open. "What the #0@ do you want?", he screams at you. You can barely make him out, as the only light available is coming from a bank of computers.
>open 67.18.115.2
>for(m=1 to 75) do
> login(meat_mlti_[m])
> for i=1 to 3: equip_meat_gem()
> for a=1 to 44: adventure(64)
> for (i=1 to 3) : unequip_meat_gem()
> kmail(meat_mtli[m+1], meat_gem, meat_gem, meat_gem)
> logout()
> end do.

"Um, hey, isn't that the IP of Kingdom of Loa..."
"What if it is? Here, take this and screw off, ya punk. Get outa here before I beat your brains in!" With that, he thrusts something into your hands.

You acquire an item: Angry Farmer candy

Recetas para Booze (Parte I)

Existen varios tipos de Booze dentro del Reino: Básicos, creados por Mezclas sencillas (Mixing), los que requieren ciertos "adornos especiales" (como las Tiny Plastic Sword (TPS), Little Paper Umbrellas (LPU) ) y los que requieren el Advanced Cocktailcrafting Skill (sólo Disco Bandits o Clases que tengan esa habilidad como un Softcore Permanent Skill)

Mientras más elaborada sea la mezcla, más aventuras y más sub-stats se logran con ellas, así como mayor nivel de intoxicación.

En esta primera parte se postea las recetas necesarias para la elaboración de los 4 tipos de Booze.

Esta información fue recopilada por epeterso2 y obtenida por Carito.

viernes, octubre 28, 2005

Miren en el McLarge Huge

You're fighting A Mob Penguin Pasta Chef

As you near the Icy Peak, you encounter one of the penguins whose duty it is to provide tasty pasta dishes to the Penguin Mafia.

"Heyyy," says the penguin, "You don'ta belong here. I beata you head in!"

You get the jump on him.

You do not aim with your hand. He who aims with his hand has forgotten the face of Sneaky Pete. You aim with your Moxie.

You hit for 114 damage. BONK! BOOF! SOCKO! ZAP! ZAP! ZOT! SOCKO! KERBLAM! ZOT! BIFF!

You win the fight!

You gain 30 Meat.

Pecoso does a little fairy dance.

You gain 8 Strengthliness.
You gain 3 Enchantedness.
You gain 10 Smarm.


You're fighting A Mob Penguin Soprano

This penguin occupies a position of great authority in the Penguin Mafia. One word from him, and an army of armed thugs will come to your house and break your arms, and possibly your armoire.

He also sings a mean aria. Really, really mean. If it weren't for the occasional panic attacks, he'd be almost unstoppable.

You get the jump on him.

You do not aim with your hand. He who aims with his hand has forgotten the face of Sneaky Pete. You aim with your Moxie.

You hit for 102 damage. WHAM! ZAP! ZAP! BOOF! BARF! KAPOW! WHACK! BIFF! BIFF! KAPOW!

You win the fight!

You gain 31 Meat.

Pecoso does a little fairy dance.

You acquire an item: support cummerbund
You acquire an item: Mob Penguin cellular phone
You acquire an item: mafia aria

You gain 14 Fortitude.
You gain 5 Mysteriousness.
You gain 5 Roguishness.

You're fighting A Mob Penguin Pasta Chef

As you near the Icy Peak, you encounter one of the penguins whose duty it is to provide tasty pasta dishes to the Penguin Mafia.

"Heyyy," says the penguin, "You don'ta belong here. I beata you head in!"

You get the jump on him.

You do not aim with your hand. He who aims with his hand has forgotten the face of Sneaky Pete. You aim with your Moxie.

You hit for 115 damage. BARF! POW! WHACK! BARF! KAPOW! BONK! ZAP! ZOT! ZOT! ZOT!

You win the fight!

You gain 28 Meat.

Pecoso does a little fairy dance.

You acquire an item: iron pasta spoon

You gain 12 Strengthliness.
You gain 3 Enchantedness.
You gain 7 Sarcasm.

Objetos que se obtienen en The Cola Wars Battlefield

Cloaca-Cola Uniform: (Aventurar sin x-Cola Outfit) Tatuaje Disponible
  • Cloaca-Cola Helmet
  • Cloaca-Cola Fatigues
  • Cloaca-Cola Shield

Dyspepsi-Cola Uniform: (Aventurar sin x-Cola Outfit) Tatuaje Disponible
  • Dyspepsi-Cola Helmet
  • Dyspepsi-Cola Fatigues
  • Dyspepsi-Cola Shield
Aventurar con Cloaca-Cola Uniform
  • Dyspepsi-Cola
  • Dyspepsi Grenade
  • Dyspepsi-Cola Knapsack
  • Dyspepsi-Cola d-Rations
  • Dyspepsi-Cola-issue Canteen

Aventurar con Dyspepsi-Cola Uniform
  • Cloaca-Cola
  • Cloaca Grenade
  • Cloaca-Cola Knapsack
  • Cloaca-Cola c-Rations
  • Cloaca-Cola-issue Combat Knife
Kneatly Knicking the Knapsack
You're picking your way carefully through the battlefield, trying to stay out of trouble, when a Cloaca-Cola soldier stumbles up to you. His red shirt conceals the blood, but from the numerous slashes in the fabric and his belabored breathing, you can see he's on his last legs.

He grabs your arm weakly, and gasps, "Tell... tell my wife... I... I love... the refreshing taste of Cloaca-Cola..."

Then he collapses to the ground, and after a respectful moment of silence, you hork his knapsack.

You acquire an item: Cloaca-Cola knapsack

Tatuajes por los trajes

"Hooray! Now I can once again create paintings of such stunning beauty, such rich symbolism, that maybe a few people in this horrible, oppressive world can begin to understand my pain."

The artist pours the pail of paint into a huge barrel, then says "Oh, hey, umm, do you want this empty pail? I don't really have room for it, so if you want it, you can have it."

You acquire an item: pail
Please allow me to paint your portrait...

What's the matter? Can't find any innocent civilians to blow up? Here. Take this painting. I'll paint another copy later to burn in protest.

You have unlocked a new tattoo.

Please allow me to paint your portrait...

Oh. I suppose you're going to criticize me for not "supporting" you. Here. You can wave it like a flag as you slaughter the innocent.

You have unlocked a new tattoo.

Cloaca-Cola Catapult Engineer II

You're fighting a Cloaca-Cola Catapult Engineer

You encounter a Cloaca-Cola Catapult Engineer trying to load a huge rock into a catapult. He rolls the rock back and forth, trying to get enough momentum going to load the catapult.

"That's it!" you shout. "Rock? Rolling? Cola Wars? I can't take this any more!" You charge forward waving your weapon.

He gets the jump on you.

He rolls over you with his rolling rock. You feel vaguely like you've just drank something that wasn't quite beer. Argh! Ugh! Oof! Ow!

You lose 14 hit points.

You hit for 19 damage. WHACK! BONK! KERBLAM! KERBLAM! ZOT!

He shouts, "This is for the Space Monkey Mafia!" and rolls his rock over your groin. Ouch! Ooh! Eek! Eek!

You lose 13 hit points.

You hit for 23 damage. BIFF! SMACK! WHACK! KAPOW! KERBLAM!You win the fight!You gain 9 Strengthliness.
You gain 1 Wizardliness.
You gain 2 Sarcasm.

You're fighting a Cloaca-Cola Soldier

You're fighting a Cloaca-Cola Soldier

As you make your way across the battlefield, you are spotted by one of the red-shirted Cloaca-Cola soldiers. He charges at you, shouting "Cloaca is it!" You start to ask "Cloaca is what?", but by then he's already trying to bash your skull in. Er, trying in which to bash your skull.

He gets the jump on you.

He hits you so hard it makes your teeth hurt. Oof! Ugh! Ow! Ow!

You lose 14 hit points.

You hit for 19 damage. KERBLAM! BIFF! ZAP! POW! WHAM!

He hits you so hard it makes your teeth hurt. Ugh! Ugh! Argh! Argh!

You lose 13 hit points.

You lose. You slink away, dejected and defeated.

Cloaca-Cola Catapult Engineer

You're fighting a Cloaca-Cola Catapult Engineer

You encounter a Cloaca-Cola Catapult Engineer trying to load a huge rock into a catapult. He rolls the rock back and forth, trying to get enough momentum going to load the catapult.

"That's it!" you shout. "Rock? Rolling? Cola Wars? I can't take this any more!" You charge forward waving your weapon.

He gets the jump on you.

He shouts, "This is for the Space Monkey Mafia!" and rolls his rock over your skull. Oof! Ow! Argh! Argh!

You lose 13 hit points.

You hit for 20 damage. ZAP! KERBLAM! SPLAT! WHAM! BARF!You win the fight!You gain 11 Strongness.
You gain 2 Mysteriousness.

Sigo con el Cloaca Outfit

You're fighting a Dyspepsi-Cola Knight

As you make your way across the battlefield, you are surprised by a fully-armored knight in a Dyspepsi-Cola tabard, waving a two-handed sword over his head wildly and bellowing as he runs at you. Clearly an example of caffeine addiction. You wonder what a nice sword like that's doing on a knight like him.

You get the jump on him.

You hit for 22 damage. BARF! BONK! ZAP! BOOF! KAPOW!

He belches a hideous belch at you. The air turns green, as does your face. Ow! Eek! Oof! Ugh!

You lose 13 hit points.

You hit for 21 damage. SMACK! SMACK! BARF! SPLAT! ZAP!You win the fight!

Flakolas feasts on the corpse, then touches you gently on the cheek.

You gain 25 hit points.
You gain 19 Muscularity Points.
You acquire an item: Dyspepsi-Cola
You gain 6 Muscleboundness.
You gain 2 Mysteriousness.
You're fighting a Dyspepsi-Cola General

This guy is the strangest general you've ever seen. He dances back and forth upon the battle field, making inspirational speeches in a high-pitched voice. For some reason, he keeps grabbing his crotch every time his army cheers. One thing's for sure -- you don't want to shake hands with this guy.

You get the jump on him.

You hit for 24 damage. POW! BIFF! KAPOW! BAM! BARF!

He smacks you with his gauntleted hand. Hey, why is he only wearing one gauntlet, anyway? Ow! Ouch! Ow! Ouch!

You lose 13 hit points.


You hit for 25 damage. BAM! BARF! WHACK! SMACK! SPLAT!You win the fight!

Flakolas feasts on the corpse, then touches you gently on the cheek.

You gain 25 hit points.
You gain 14 Muscularity Points.
You gain 6 Beefiness.
You gain 2 Sarcasm.

Listen to the Blue Leader

The blue-uniformed soldiers are battered and weary, but nevertheless optimistic. Their eyes gleam as their leader speaks to them in tones of strength and power:

"Once more into the breach, dear friends, once more;
Or close the wall up with our Dyspepsian dead.
In peace, there's nothing so becomes a man
As modest stillness and humility:
But when the blast of war blows in our ears,
Then imitate the action of the tiger!
I see you stand like grayhounds in the slips,
Straining upon the start. The game's afoot:
Follow your spirit, and upon such foundation
Cry 'Dyspepsi -- the choice of a new generation!'"

With a cheer, the troops run up the hill to engage their enemy. The battle is costly, but in the end they emerge victorious.

In their celebration, they don't notice as you make off with one of their spare shields.

You acquire an item: Dyspepsi-Cola shield